1. Sonny and Cher open the show with
"Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows" and banter about Sonny's attempt
to write his own script for the show.
2. "The Vamps" -- In a takeoff on The Perils Of Pauline
serial, Binky (Sonny) rescues the matinee damsel (Cher) from the
sinister hands of Snidely (regular Ted Zeigler); the king of Siam
(Sonny) interviews Anna (Cher) for the position of his royal
governess; and Sadie Thompson (Cher) tells the preacher (Sonny)
that she heard a respected travelogue maker (regular Billy Van) is
coming to make a film of their island.
3. "Sonny's Pizza Parlor" -- Everyone anxiously awaits the
arrival of the reverend that Sonny found to marry Luigi (regular
4. Cher sings "I Got It Bad and That Ain't Good"
5. "The Cultural Spot" -- A glib Lyle hosts the third annual
presentation of "The Bono Awards", the world's least coveted prize.
The statuettes are presented to such reluctant winners as Chad
Everett (for his outstanding performance on Medical Center); host
Jim McCave (Sonny) of The Wide World Of Sports (for having brought
the world's most obscure sports to television); William Conrad of
Cannon, who proves that fat people can cry; Jean Stapleton (in
recognition of her courage and bravery beyond the call of show
business for having made more than one guest appearance on The
Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour last season); entertainer Tennessee
Ernie Ford (for having had the best performance by a funny country
singer who is named after a state); and Carol Burnett, who comes
out dressed as Cher (for having been named the most gracious lady
6. Sonny and Cher, with daughter Chastity, close the show
with "I Got You Babe"